Treat every relationship in life as a contract

A contract is where both sides bring something to the table and leave a winner.

A central idea of my philosophy is the trade contract, in that I will enter into relationships with a person, group or thing with something to offer, and where both sides leave the relationship the winner.  The alternative to the trade contract is a parasitic or predatory contract where one or both sides lose out in the relationship.

It appealed to my sense of humour and justice to read about a father who shot out a laptop belonging to his daughter for cursing him on Facebook after he made her make her own bed.  A common curse of youth culture is the sense of entitlement teenagers have that the world owes them, and they throw a tantrum when hard reality smacks them in the face.  In China there is a phenomenon of parasite children called ken lao zu, or “those that bite the old folks”, who even as adults continue to drain their parents savings dry on frivolous purchases, leaving the elderly nothing to live on in old age.

This sense of victimhood and entitlement extends across society, spawning a rights, litigation, and victim  industry that feeds the lawyers and charity officials at the expense of legitimate victims of injustice.

Unless the adult is in jail or has a gun to their head, they have choice over the relationships they enter into.  Rather than play victim, complain and throw tantrums, there is choice to either uphold the contract they entered into or leave it.  I  respect the teenager who leaves behind their family to go it alone without help, and set up their own business using trade contract relationships, for that is one ultimate expression of an empowered human being.

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4 responses to “Treat every relationship in life as a contract

  1. I agree with your comments about lawyers especially those involved in ‘no win, no fee’. The problem with adults and entitlement is that we as adults have had may years to fine tune what we feel we are entitled to. A new car every two years, a pay rise above inflation every year, good quality education and health care. Sometimes reality of what we get and what we want is very often different. That is when the lawyers jump in and tell us, “You are entitled, I’ll go to court and sue them for you.” There is also another wider ranging effect of the growth of sue first and ask questions later especially in a recession is that people lie and cover up when they make a mistake in their work in case they lose their job. This policy of lying by staff and amending records to cover mistakes does a lot of harm to the reputations of organisations who are caught doing this on a regular basis this is just ones example

    http://www.publications.parliament.uk/pa/cm201011/cmhansrd/cm111017/debtext/111017-0003.htm

    Everyone makes mistakes we are only human. The covering up of the mistakes causes more harm and upset to the victims of the mistakes very often than the mistake itself admitting mistakes increases an organisations image and respect not covering it up and being found out later….it’s a matter of trust. You are right in saying we chose our relationships and our self respect and respect for others should mould our actions and how we carry out our interactions.

    I’ve gone into this more fully in my own blog because your blog covers very important issues.

    • The attempted coverup at Hillsborough was disgraceful. I agree, such attempts to cover up mistakes does more harm than good. How can the public have trust in officials or the police when such things are going on? How can there be true trust in the justice system if police tamper with evidence?

      The key word is responsibility I think. How can I enter into contract with someone or something who I have no faith in, due to their failure to take responsibility for their own actions?

  2. A central idea of my philosophy is the trade contract, in that I will enter into relationships with a person, group or thing with something to offer, and where both sides leave the relationship the winner.
    Yes I agree, and it should always end in a way where both sides leave the relationship as winners.
    As Mabuz mentions above, responsability from both parties is the most important thing for an healthy relationship.

    • Civilization is based upon trade contract to a certain extent. It is faith that the other party will deliver on their promise. This “faith” can be seen in paper currency, where the bank will honour the promise of redeeming the value of the paper note, a faith that an economy is built on. When a food item is purchased, it is upon the faith that it is as described and will do no harm to the buyer.

      As you say, responsibility is vital, for if enough people are irresponsible in their contracts with others, it will be enough to collapse society, and perhaps civilization.

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